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January 11, 2011

The writer's curse

I often write songs on the move and manage to amaze the audiences around me. As a part of this process, I am told that I am immensely blessed to be able to write so spontaneously. But not many know that I write to reduce myself of some burden and to free myself from the confinement of thoughts. Whenever I have something to pen down, the ends of my fingers crack up, like someone has plugged in electricity. There's an urgency to transfer these thoughts onto a paper through a pen or type out at rapid speed onto my keyboard. This urgency grips me and does not let me concentrate on anything else.

More often that not, when I am in transit or amidst many people, I have a flux of thoughts constantly occupying my head. This crux takes energy for processing and every thought is nevertheless meaningful. Oh! The sheer agony of deciding which one is more important. And the patience that does not seem to hang on until the end of the piece. The numerous inclusions that seem very relevant to make the piece look complete and the debatable perceptions which need to be mildly addressed. Not to forget the amount of research for stating a fact right or supporting an assertion and the endless runs of proof-checking.

And that isn't the end of it. I mean this is just the premise. A writer writes for the audiences out there whom they hope to connect with. But certainly, as it had been proved multiple times over that it isn't a fair world out there. There are thousands amidst anguish waiting to tear down everything coming their way. Opinionatedness and  perceptions rank high, beginning with the brand of daily cereal. Whether or not actions exist, ideologies do, in excess. so when I express my thoughts, I do not always receive nods of agreement and pats on the back. I write for audiences who comprise the soul of an ever-changing, cruel world. And I know I shall receive some choicest of brickbats.

What was I saying again about being blessed? To want to write, to desire to write and to announce your thought, is the curse of a writer. And to choose to be cursed, isn't wise, isn't even normal. But like me countless writers endure this curse, only to be able to write, to create. Because, behind every curse is a creation waiting to be unleashed!